Your Journey Begins
To hire a life coach is not so much a leap of faith as a leap of honesty and I’m here to guide you without judgement.
The ultimate aim of personal development is to reach personal mastery: not to be controlling of a situation or people, but to be in control of your self so that any situation is within your control.
It is about fortifying your mind to allow success in your personal life and work by instilling a castle mindset, capable of meeting every challenge, a strong mentality for your life ahead that hardens with time.
Whatever is holding you back, think of this scenario: You have a deck of cards in your hands – your unique deck.
Face up, you deal the cards out one by one – each card on top of the next. Gather the cards and then deal again.
Notice the sequence is the same every time. Too often we expect a different outcome with the same actions, and very importantly, with the same thoughts.
Your life coaching journey will help you change your approach and perspective.
There is a good chance you know specifically what you want to address in Castle Coaching sessions: that’s good. But sometimes it is not so easy to define and of course that’s OK too. And generally without exception if a client wishes to address X, there is at least one other area if not more linked to it that requires attention.
My approach to personal development coaching is all about solutions. My only question is: Are you ready?
Castle Coaching Defined:
The inner critic is the voice within our own mind that is critical of our self, of who we are, of what we look like, of what we do, of what we’ve done.
The inner critic is rarely made of just your own criticisms but is largely based on criticism from others.
The inner critic needs to be tamed and rewired to think in a balanced, positive way so all the energy spent fighting it can be released and used productively by accepting your self as it is.
You wouldn’t be human without anxiety. And it’s difficult to be human with lots of anxiety.
Anxiety comes in different forms; Emotionally triggered by memories; Anxiety over future events; Anxiety in the moment. Even anxiety about not having anxiety!
The key is to discover the trigger(s) and then we will work to establish healthy emotional responses and reduce or eliminate the cause of fear.
Feeling motivated is a wonderful thing. You feel empowered, energised, full of life and there is a driving force compelling you to do something.
A lack of motivation is very common and often a result of how you think about things.
I work with you to reframe your perspective and find what motivates you and use those levers to push ahead and help you achieve in your chosen endeavour.
You understand literacy, the ability to read. Emotional literacy is how you understand your own emotions.
Perhaps you’ve been shamed for feeling a certain way or for displaying emotions at all. Being emotionally illiterate is to not experience your emotions as they are which manifests in negative ways physiologically and mentally. Emotions need to be expressed in order to feel healthy and to make sense of our life. Sadly, we can easily lose this ability. Rediscover your emotions, feel alive again and find the expressions that have been subdued from your life. Emotions are not weakness, only uncontrolled emotions are.
Procrastination to Action
Do you keep thinking of doing something but never do it?
Procrastination is not a bad thing in itself. It is the thoughts of doing something, the seeds of future action.
But! Without the follow through, with no action after the thought there is nothing. I help turn your ideas into real life events and action by finding your motivation and changing your perspective on how to approach tasks. Prioritising, time management, motivation, reward/gratification, self-talk: all tie into issues of thinking without doing.
I’ll help you find the spark to fuel your ambitions.
Friends, family, partner or work colleagues: they all bring their own unique personalities and often challenges.
It is normal in life to experience the joys and pain of our experiences with them. Divorce, breakups, disagreements and conflicts are not always easy to resolve or deal with emotionally.
We don’t always have the tools to do so or the experience and wisdom to reduce their impact on us. Whatever relationship(s) you wish to address I will guide you through the issues you raise and give you a better understanding of the social mechanisms at play, so not only will you have the tools to cope, you’ll be able to thrive in future social interactions.
The benefit of leadership is to be led or inspired into action, to realise your potential and to then take the lead in your life towards your goals.
Today’s society is extremely lacking in leadership figures of any character and respectability whether family, friends or public figures.
Learning to take responsibility of your actions is key here as well as direction and accountability. We will go through your life as it is and determine what your weak points are and what strengths you have and plan your self-mastery which will benefit you in all areas of life.
Life as in nature, is all about balance. If you have an imbalance of anything it has created problems in your life even if you are unaware of it. Too much or too little is rarely ever a good thing. Balance is finding the sweet spot between obsession and indifference.
Too much food, drink, work, partying; Too little exercising, relaxing, socialising, stimulation, challenge – none of those are good. Whether in your personal life or work related, finding balance is not some vague Eastern inspired mystical nonsense.
Balance is a necessity to live well and enjoy each day: I’ll help the scales to align so you can feel healthier and more purposeful.
Have you ever thought of your personal philosophy? Of how you approach life? Of how you evaluate your character? Of rules that you live by in keeping with your values?
Let’s call it your personal code. If you don’t have a solidified personal code or haven’t thought much about it, don’t worry, it’s not unusual – but I’m certain you have it in a scattered form.
I’ll guide you to creating your personal philosophy of what is acceptable and what isn’t in your life. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything is an old saying which will always hold true. Only by knowing your self and establishing a personal philosophy can you proceed into each new day with real intent.
Would you like to live in a home with no doors or windows allowing anyone to enter? I am guessing not.
So why would your mind be any different?
Many people struggle with weak boundaries which means they are too accepting to the terms of others and that is a cause for a lot of unhappiness. Without a strong mentality you are at the mercy of other people. A classic example is being unable to say ‘No’ when asked to do something. Or a guilt complex.
Your mentality needs to have the qualities of a fortress so the small things do not bother you, and you welcome the important things knowing you can take the challenge.
This is an area everyone can improve no matter where they are in life. Instead of allowing people to raid your castle and steal your energy build up the walls and strengthen your mindset so you have the discipline and will power to decide what enters your world. This work is focused on taking control of your life so it is less controlled by others.
Moving home is one of the biggest stressors in life. To do so repeatedly is highly stressful for adults but especially for children and teenagers.
If you moved schools frequently, moved from country to country, from place to place when young, then you will have been affected by the upheaval. Even as an adult this can be hugely challenging.
Learning to adapt and become a chameleon in unfamiliar environments is natural as you don’t have a chance to form long lasting secure friendships or to become part of a community.
To be the outsider multiple times is not easy. It often leads to issues with identity and feeling different in an environment and stage of life when being different is difficult to be. Without feeling rooted in who we are, without a sense of belonging it can have traumatic effects to be dislocated at an age when the tools to cope are lacking.
We can unlock the benefits of such a lifestyle and also discuss unresolved issues that may remain and place the geosocial changes in context.
This is not easy to define. To feel dissociated is to feel as if you are not part of reality and indeed is a healthy and necessary reaction. Dissociation is usually a response to sustained trauma in which a person detaches from reality but not in a psychotic way. It is actually a necessary defense method especially for children who are not able to utilise life experiences to contextualise an event or events – so dissociating through imagination, through objects, a game or other activity is a coping mechanism to escape what has happened.
Continued into adulthood however, dissociative patterns can have undesirable effects. Lack of concentration, lack of direction, apathy, indecision and a tendency to lose focus often mask highly valuable abilities.
The aim is to reduce dissociative episodes and be in charge of your consciousness more, to earth your thoughts in real life and create action instead of reaction.
How would you rate your communication?
What you communicate to others is crucial to life fulfilment. If you ask for a car but you meant a van, you’ll get a car. And you’ll be very annoyed.
Clear communication is the ability to convey your needs without any misunderstanding from the other person(s).
Even more important is how you communicate with your self. Those dialogues in your head: do they make sense? Do they feel authentic to you? Are they positive or negative?
With diamond dialogue, emotions do not interfere with the message. No matter what the situation is you can make yourself understood. We’ll work together to establish your sticking points and work through them so the power of your own thoughts and ideas dominate your actions.
Do you value your self?
But it never fails to amaze me how little regard people have for their own abilities, effort and experience.
Part of any well lived life is adopting better practices and discarding the old.
With this focus it is like panning for gold, extracting the value: separating the nuggets from the earth and stones.
In addressing the concept of your value we’ll explore your idea of your self, and separate reality from fiction and imagination, building your self esteem and confidence by defining your self identity and allowing your self worth to shine.
This is about uncovering and often, rediscovering.
The world of work is not straight forward and brings many complexities.
As a baseline it is a way to survive, to make enough money to live – and it’s easy to forget that.
At a certain stage people want more from their lives. Through career coaching we will examine your aspirations and create definition in your career path.
You don’t have to know what you want to do, that’s often part of the process.
We’ll evaluate your strengths and weaknesses, focus on your abilities and what you offer not just on a measurable level, but on a personal level.
Life experience and your personality count for more than you might imagine.
I bring a life coach’s perspective to give you a panorama of your accomplishments so far and what tools you will need for the work ahead.
You may wish for guidance on one particular area of your life or several: for personal development or within the context of work or a new business. Whatever it is, I offer practical coaching life solutions.
I see no point in talk without action. So much advice is offered from lay people to so called experts and there’s a consistent narrative: they rarely offer a solution, although thankfully that is beginning to change.
To know there is a problem is one thing. To provide a solution is another.
Much of today’s therapy and counselling involves talking through your problems which is a great thing to do.
But it is very rarely enough on its own and frequently without practical methods for lasting change. Part mentor, part psychologist, a natural problem solver and finder of solutions, I look forward to helping you improve your enjoyment of life.