Your mind is like an operational castle. War is certain, peace is not.
People have raided it and will try to raid it again and again and again.* That—is life. They will try to make alterations to the design. Maybe with trebuchets, battering rams or arrows. Or they may opt for subtle Machiavellian tactics that leave the walls intact, but destroy from within. Psychological warfare is rarely declared, it just happens. And as subtly as that may be, the effects can be devastating, reducing the mind to rubble, if permitted to proceed unchecked over an extended period of time, such as in the case of emotional abuse.
In the worst scenarios, you can be trying to defend your castle on multiple fronts. And even darker still, are the sustained attacks that are so devastatingly normalised that a person is no longer consciously aware of them such as in Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD).
You want a peaceful, sovereign, balanced mind. Don’t you?!
Actually, not necessarily. As if the above was not enough to contend with, self sabotage is very common and can be a manifestation of various psychological mechanisms which add yet more layers of complexity. Self hatred and the resultant low self esteem can be triggered in us like lit fuses which we must find and stop before serious damage occurs or re-occurs.
Assess Your Kingdom
Reflect on your kingdom this way: There are people who have lived beyond 100 who did not find inner peace through self acceptance, which are utterly essential components of a strong castle. And there are those unusuals who manage to find them at a relatively young age.
Ultimately, the aim is to be free from neuroticism, from self defeating thoughts, from ill judgement, from control by others, from anxieties, from fears, from attacks on your self by your self.
Beyond the shackles of youth, how your castle develops and has developed, is your responsibility. Totally. Entirely. Absolutely. Yours.
Accountability is a huge part of a mature outlook. Account ability – the ability to be accountable. Who to? You.
Your life decisions are made by you, and you have to own them, no matter the outcome. To do otherwise veers into the murky forests of blaming others, and deeper still lies the winding river of denial.
Only bad consequences arrive when we do not take responsibility.
Having compassion and accepting our self as it is, are the tools to keep those elements at bay. Running your kingdom effectively with a progressive mindset requires attention, your attention and nobody else’s, a key part of personal development.
Don’t be the doctor whose own health is bad; the builder whose own house is in disarray; or the teacher who doesn’t learn. Accept the responsibility.
* If this seems negative, it is not the intention. It is reality. The world is not a soft play area where everyone is nicey nice, carefree in a weak minded ‘why can’t we just all get along?’ way. If anything a more accurate description is; life has the pretence of a soft play area where the others have knives behind their backs.
Not enough is mentioned about the undercurrent of competition, of the savage in us all, of the rawness of existence, the fact we are animals. Media and other elements have anaesthetised many into thinking that the world is far less brutal than it really is, a kind of Huxley-an visual soma.
Every day is something to be grateful for. Naivety to your own mind and those of others will hinder your progress. Castle Coaching is about empowering you to reach new heights and charting a better life quality by adding tools to your toolbox.